August 15, 2023

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is not selfish or vain, it is essential. You need to look after yourself, so that you can then look after others.

Written by

Nicole Biggs

Self-care is essential. We all need to look after ourselves. However, we grow up being told that this is not a British thing to do. Somehow, we are being selfish or vain if we take care of ourselves or put ourselves first. However, this is wrong.

We are totally responsible for ourselves. How we think, act, and feel is all up to us. Nobody can force us. It is up to us to allow other people to influence us, affect us, or tell us what to do. We are the captains of our own ship. We are also responsible for our impact on the world, our surroundings, and other people around us. Unless you are a child or child-like, then you are the only one who is totally responsible for yourself.

Therefore, if we do not like something in our lives, then it is up to us to change it. We are the only ones who can change it, and it is up to us to take responsibility for ourselves and the need to change.  If we do not feel loved and supported, then it is up to us to find more love and support. In fact, it is up to us to provide ourselves more love and support. Seeking validation from outside things (like other people, shopping, food, possessions) can be dangerous, as what happens when these things are no longer there? Instead, we need to learn to find these resources within ourselves, as they will always be there whenever we need them.

Learning to take care of yourself is the first step in developing these resources within yourself.

Remember that if you are not feeling good, then you will not be able to perform properly. You will not be able to give the best of you. This will mean that you will be grumpier and shorter tempered with the people around you, you will be less productive at work. A happy, healthy you is therefore better for everyone. There is an old proverb that says that you cannot give from an empty cup. In other words, you have to make sure that your cup is full before you are able to help others. On an airplane you have to put your air mask on before you can help anyone else with their mask.

Self-care is about doing the things that make us feel good about ourselves, that make us feel loved, important, valued, and supported. Everyone is different and so self-care is different for everyone.  I would thoroughly recommend that everyone takes time out to work out what their self-care routine is.

Take some time to think about what do you need to do each day, week, month or even annually to ensure that you are in a good state? You need to make sure that you include self-care in every aspect of your life.

In my next few blogs I will explore self-care in each aspect of our life.

For more information, or just a chat, please contact me on 07742 209312 or

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